On Tuesday, Israel’s official Twitter page shared a video hinting at one of their latest endeavors amid the ongoing conflict in Gaza — retrieving semen from dead soldiers and civilians to help them grow their legacies.
Shaylee Atary's husband Yahav was murdered by Hamas terrorists.
— Israel ישראל (@Israel) November 14, 2023
She did everything in her power to retrieve his sperm so that their dream of having more children would live on even without Yahav.
Unfortunately she was unsuccessful.
There are still so many families that we… pic.twitter.com/KHhOod6QWT
“Shaylee did everything she could to save her family,” the clip’s narration said after recounting the tale of one widow who unsuccessfully attempted to retrieve sperm from her late husband’s body. “We still have time to save ours. Bring back our children, now.”
The IDF has a special Sperm Retrieval Unit to collect the seed of fallen IDF soldiers https://t.co/JsnbdtwiP9 pic.twitter.com/MEb0QpNH45
— PotatoButtlug (@PotatoButtplug) November 14, 2023
Though the specifics of this procedure — one that more than 33 dead men have undergone since October 7, per Haaretz —are unknown, Twitter had their own ideas, speculating that the Israeli Defense Force had a special unit entirely dedicated to retrieving semen.
Israel’s official Twitter account posted a video of what??? pic.twitter.com/JpvDKJ9hb2
— Trey the Explainer (@Trey_Explainer) November 15, 2023
“Leader of the Sperm retrieval unit: Sperm Jack Off-Man: A man denied his gooning,” joked @GalaxyPeaBrain while @TheWapplehouse proposed a better name for the theorized unit.
Why’d they call it the Sperm Retrieval Unit and not Whack Ops
— Kristi Yamaguccimane (@TheWapplehouse) November 15, 2023
The Goon Squad is probably too on the nose but I think it deserves a shot
— Jeff (@time_theft_jeff) November 15, 2023
Leader of the Sperm retrieval unit:
— Isaac (@GalaxyPeaBrain) November 14, 2023
Sperm Jack Off-Man: A man denied his gooning https://t.co/NpamQ6dgW3 pic.twitter.com/7m6AtkZCZt
“Why’d they call it the Sperm Retrieval Unit and not Whack Ops?” they asked.
But regardless of where you stand on the Israel-Hamas war, one thing is certain: to paraphrase @kthorjensen, be prepared for your children to ask what side were you on in the Cum Wars?
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