Not all poops are created equal, a fact heralded by commercial airline passengers and eBaum’s World readers alike. But just because your craps aren’t forcing jumbo jets to make a mid-air u-turn doesn’t mean they’re picture perfect — just ask Dr. Janine Bowring, TikTok’s resident poop expert.

Armed with a tray of eerily lifelike plastic turds, Dr. Bowring has dedicated her social media career to informing the people of their poo poo potential — including the platonic ideal of poop, the ”'S Shaped Dark Sinker.” 

@j9naturally 3 Tips for a Healthy Poop Dr. Janine provides three valuable tips for maintaining healthy bowel movements. She discusses the characteristics of healthy stool and identifies signs of constipation. To address constipation, she suggests trying the ileocecal valve massage technique. In addition, Dr. Janine emphasizes the importance of consuming an adequate amount of fiber, with a recommended daily intake of 25-30 grams for adults. Lastly, she recommends incorporating healthy fats into your diet and considering a turmeric curcumin supplement to support liver and gallbladder health. Follow for more natural health tips. #poop #guthealth #constipation #wellness ♬ original sound - doctorjanine Bowring, ND

So how do you drop this perfect deuce, one that as its name implies, is long, dark and winding? Alongside stomach massages and tumeric supplements, she cited fiber as the secret to nabbing idyllic dumps.

“Adults should be getting at least 25 to 30 grams of fiber daily,” she said, poop poo platter still in hand.

But it’s not just diet that can impact pooping. Her other suggestion for ideal dumps? Touching grass — literally.

“Get grounded! Especially first thing in the morning [sic], to connect with the Earth, you’ve gotta get grounded,” she explained, noting that it is critical that your “bare feet” touch the grass below.

Though her suggestions may be solid — no pun intended — her fans could only take so much of her very graphic visual aid.

“I’m eating please!” wrote one commenter.

“I love a good charcuterie board,” added a second.

But even with all this information — possibly too much — surrounding the state of our poops, one question remains surrounding her crap board: As one irked user so aptly put it, “What happened to hello?’”