"He misbehaves because he had a mild case of SIDS as a child."

A parent complained that her son spends his late nights gaming rather than sleeping and asked what I, the teacher, was going to do about it.

"I don't think my son should have to learn no fancy equations. I never learned no math and I don't want him learnin' them and thinking he's smarter than me."

After her son plagiarized his mid-term paper from a paper written by the professor, the mother responded with, "well you should take that as a compliment!"

After a teacher gave a student detention for assaulting another student, the mother said this: "He has track sectionals this Saturday and doesn't need people giving him any more distractions or undue stress, thank you very much."

After his child skipped three music lessons, AND the final exam, a parent said this in reference to his daughter's grade: "My daughter is unique and special and gifted, and deserves a better grade in music."

After a swimming instructor saved a child who couldn't swim from drowning, the parent responded with: "He has potential, he's a much better swimmer than many of the other kids, and we just have to learn to teach him better."

After a university student got caught trying to hand in a paper that his mom had paid someone to write for him, his mom had this to say: "I BOUGHT the paper. I PAID for it with my money. He didn't STEAL it--How is that not fair? I paid someone to write it, they sold their work, and he turned it in. It's YOUR job to grade it."

This parent had an interesting response to his child learning at a school that uses apple products: "I'm sending a WINDOWS laptop that I personally configured to school with my daughter. I will not have my daughter being taught to use an Apple product. I work for a major computer technician company, and I can personally attest to the fact that everything Apple makes is pure garbage. You're hurting the students more than helping them, as every major company uses Windows software. I am also going to be filing a complaint with the school board. I know this is not your fault personally, but I know there is something you could do to stop it."

I am a middle school teacher and I had a student sexually harass me. I filed a complaint and it was sent to HR. The boy was transferred out of my class, but the mother complained to the school that it was my fault because I looked too young to be teaching middle school.